!!!

UP AND AT EM!!!!!!

Back in touch....

Going to do something creative today...just to get back in touch with "my reality"....

Please....

Just not sure how long I can keep my happy face and my hope...I feel like I'm losing speed, and I'm getting tired and I want to give up...not even sure what i'm looking for, actually.  I miss the comfort, I miss my feeling of home, I miss being  someone....I miss it all so much...but this is the path I am on...trying so hard to hold on to faith and to hope. .. Just dont know if its really out there or not?  God please be with me, while I am so lost.  Please help me find what I am looking for...
Love, Kelly

Sometimes a new do makes all the difference :)

I got a professional hair coloring and cut today....feeling renewed and ready to take on the world!  haha

...

I'm wide awake...
Falling from cloud nine.....
Born again, out of the lions den....     Roarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!

Just pretty....

Just pretty...thats all....

Learning, growing....

A dear friend shared this with me today...It is perfect...It sums up all I am realizing throughout this difficult year...The words strike me deep inside, almost as if I had written them myself.  Life is amazing...and in its simplest form, so beautiful....

a few seconds ago

• 
  After A While
  
  Veronica A. Shoffstall
  
  After a while you learn
  The subtle difference between
  Holding a hand and chaining a soul
  And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
  And company doesn’t always mean security.
  And you begin to learn
  That kisses aren’t contracts
  And presents aren’t promises
  And you begin to accept your defeats
  With your head up and your eyes ahead
  With the grace of a woman
  Not the grief of a child
  And you learn
  To build all your roads on today
  Because tomorrow’s ground is
  Too uncertain for plans
  And futures have a way
  Of falling down in mid flight
  After a while you learn
  That even sunshine burns if you get too much
  So you plant your own garden
  And decorate your own soul
  Instead of waiting
  For someone to bring you flowers
  And you learn
  That you really can endure
  That you are really strong
  And you really do have worth
  And you learn and you learn
  With every good bye you learn.

What I'm working on....

Here's my latest work in progress....

sketch....

just a little sketch tonight...maybe a painting????  I'm not sure....

Hmmmm....

Life just takes you by surprise sometimes...thank God!

...

Sometimes the signs are subtle, and sometimes they are lit up in neon lights, right in front of us.  Its our job  to see them, to recognize them, to find peace in them.

Red Heart Birds....

All fininshed!  Hope you like!

Red Heart Birds
8 x 10
acrylic, ink

what I've been working on....

Here's what I've been working on lately....still in progress.....

The beginnings....

The beginnings of a new chapter....signing the paperwork to buy my new home in Studio City!

Going to do my best to stay positive and balanced and keep counting my blessings :)

Turned a corner....

I've turned a corner...I feel like I may be over the hump, finally!   A few things happened that made me see more clearly.  A few arguements took place and helped me get a better perspective.  I've taken on a new outlook, and I feel ready for it!  I'm a fragile, tough girl...and that is okay with me!  I'm not going to let anything get in my way...I know the sad days will still come around, but I'm not going to let them take me down for very long...I'm going to kick their ass actually!  I'm going to be strong for myself and for my family....just try me!  :)

Red Sparrow

Finished another colorful little birdy painting....
Red Sparrow
8 x 10
Acrylic, Ink

Love Birds Blue

All finished...I'm really pleased with the colors!  Hope you like!
LOVE BIRDS BLUE
8 x 10
Acrylics, Ink

progress....

Some progress....

Beginnings....

In the search of peace and balance, I've started a few new painting projects...here are the beginnings....

Some goodies for the picnic :)

A few goodies for the Fourth of July picnic....I'd much rather paint food, than cook it! ha

Only Today....

Writing can be such a release...I'm doing much better since I wrote all that yuck down in my blog.  Perhaps this life and the sufferings that exist on this earth, will never make sense to me...So I will try to remind myself daily, that there is only today.  I will strive for balance and peace today, only this day.  Then each morning when I wake, that will be my daily goal.  I can do this....  Thank you for your sweet words of encouragement...I know life is difficult for all of us at times.  We cannot change the past, and we cannot control the future.  There is only today :)   Love to you, from me....

a very dark post....

This is going to be a very dark post....

Change....not sure I'm doing so great these days.  Sometimes I think its getting harder, rather than easier.  I thought each day was going to be closer to the end/beginning...but I'm not so sure that is happening.  Everything is empty right now.  Time is moving so so slowly.  When I am alone, time almost stands still and I can barely stand it.

All I feel is the hole in my heart getting bigger and darker.  It feels like hope is drifting away.   Some days the depression sinks in so deeply that it begins to make sense...that scares me.

I keep on seeing this memory in my head...pretty much every day now....it's a horrible memory...

I lived in Taiwan, for 2 1/2 years, in 1995-96. The weather was hot and humid.  It was a very dirty city, trash littered on the roads, and there were so many stray dogs, everywhere.  These dogs roamed the streets.  They were full of disease, some with almost no fur, and open sores.  You could tell that some were dying a very slow death...they would walk around like zombies, even in the open traffic.  It was so hard to see this every day.  The memory that keeps flooding my mind is this... A car is parked on the side of the road, and the traffic and people walk by, going about their everyday business.  Under the car is a female dog, in heat.  She is huddled, alone, under the center of the car.  Surrounding the car are about 10 male dogs, maybe more...they are all in a frenzy to mate with her.  They are sick and hungry and tired and hot, and so is she.  But she is scared, and trying to keep away from them...but one by one, they take turns, sometimes fighting with each other to get to her.  There is nothing she can do, but endure each rape.  And it just goes on and on.

It is one of the most painful memories I have...and there was nothing I could do to help her.  And lately this memory keeps haunting me...I cry when I write this and I cried when I saw this...
I just dont understand life anymore...and it seems it keeps confusing me more and more....

Sweetness for the nursery

Another set for my nursery portfolio....

For my Nursery portfolio

Here are a few pieces I've done to put in my nursery portfolio.  If I can ever figure out how to download Photoshop, then I'll be able to manipulate the colors on these, which will give me lots of options to present to licensing companies!!!    Hope you like....

another little Fairy....

Another little fairy....the little boy fairy was getting lonely :)

SHINE YOUR LIGHT!
Inspired by Coleen Sohns darling creations ....

Mama Mermaids

In just over a week, I'm going to begin working with an art consultant.  She's going to help me get through the "business muck"!  I'm so horrible at the business side of art...I would rather just paint all day long and let my imagination take me to magical places!  But, sometimes it's good to be a grown-up, I guess! haha      We will be working on setting up a profile and portfolio,  for me to present to companies, in the hopes that they will want to license my artwork.  Here is a set of mermaid paintings I've been working on....wish me luck!
MAMA MERMAID SERIES
8x10 acrylic, ink

a goal

Staying on the path...that is my goal.  Not quite so easy, when you have no idea what the path is...So I go towards the peace, I learn to forgive myself, I try, as hard as I can, to follow my intuition.

And when the bad energy of life comes my way, I will try to recognize it for what it truely is.  I will try to be brave, and not let it invade my soul.  I will try to learn from it, and use it to build my compassion and make me wiser.  

Stay on my path, keep the belief that goodness will always win, that love conquers all.  Stand strong in the hopes that I can keep my soul safe, and sweet, and kind.  Learn to hold on to what is real and sacred, and learn to let go of that which will only cause me harm.

A little more....

Some pictures of my work in progress....

Cant wait....

Cant wait to show you what I've been working on!!!!  It all started with this....

Missing....

I'm missing the very simplest things...being in someones arms....telling someone I love them...

more progress...

Still working on this one...but having fun with it....

A little sketch...

I'm still working on the fairies and the childrens stuff...but here is a little sketch I did the other day...I want to turn this into a painting soon.

A good day....

Today was a very good day-even with an ugly, gray sky....Lunch with an Angel, a scrumptous Red Velvet Cupcake, a sweet phone conversation, and look what came in the mail!!!!

This long awaited book from the most spectacular artist....Flora Bowley!  BRAVE INTUITIVE PAINTING.  I am so excited to sink my teeth into this book of inpiration, teqnique, color, magic, eye candy galore!!!!  I was lucky enough to take Floras class in October 2011 and it was the best painting class I have ever taken!  It was so much more than just a painting class-it was a whole new way to look at art and the feeling behind the paint....well, enough typing, I gotta go dig in!

A Baby line...

Next month I'm going to get some stuff ready for licensing!   I thought I would do a little baby line....here is the first piece....

Not sure that I'm done deciding if its finished or not...I think it's still in progress.....