Wednesday, April 18, 2012


This morning I chatted with a beautiful soul who lost her husband 22 months ago.  She is a widow.  I was telling her how hard these last 6 months have been for me, going through separation and divorce.  She didnt discount my pain, she told me I was grieving, just like she was. She said " divorce is a death of a life you knew and dreamed about..." She is grieving the death of her beloved husband, and I am grieving the loss of all I once knew to be comfort.  It's true that this is a grieving process.  It hurts so deeply and I have shed so many tears, but they don't seem to run out.  I'm tired of crying.  I'm tired of feeling sad inside.  I am going through the motions of moving forward...I am doing things that should be fun and joyful, but still inside there is so much sadness.  I do have faith that happiness will return one day, I just wish that was enough for right now.  Maybe soon the tears will run dry and make room for joy. I hope this day is soon.  I will keep taking steps forward and I will keep holding onto that faith.  I will try to grow and learn and become more and more independent.  I will keep trying to accept that this is a process I must go through and that there is the brightest light at the end of this tunnel.
Thank you Coleen, for your words.  They mean so much to me.


  1. i agree it is a grieving process and sometimes it just takes time, reaching out to others helps.Take care and hugs.

  2. Hugs Kelly !! I too am a widow of 21 months. I have also gone through divorce. Your friend is right.. you are grieving a loss. It's only been 6 months sweetie ! Time does help heal. Doesnt take the pain totally away.. but time will take away the tears. Be gentle on yourself dear one !! I still have days of tears and may always have those days. On those days I am gentle on myself. Trying to focus on happy memories or find joy in doing art or taking a walk something to get me through those moments when all I want to do is cry ! One day at a time is all you can do while dealing with your grief !!! Know you are loved my friend... always here if you ever want to chat !! Love your updates and pics at FB and love you art ! I have several of your prints on my inspiration wall in my studio ! I always think of you !!! Hugs to you and Cooper... love Kristy, Angel and the gang !!!

  3. I was married 25 years when my marriage ended. I was separated for 2 years and when he decided he preferred Brand x to Brand A, it was another 11/2 years before the divorce was finalized. That was 14 years ago and it was a tough and a painful journey, but trust me, joy will return. The tears will dissipate; laughter will take it's place and your heart will be full again.

    Right now, feel all of it and then let it go. I told my ex during the horrible, arduous divorce process that I hated him and had every right to do so, but I prayed for blessed indifference and I've been there for years. I never forgave him, but then, I don't care!! LOL

    Hang in there and know you're not alone.


  4. I know Coleen, and she has said very similar words to me recently, as I have separated from my husband of 32 years. Coleen is an angel, and her caring words are always healing to my soul. She has ministered to my spirit so many times, and I am not surprised that she has done this for you, as well... and I am so glad she shared your blog with me! I will keep you in my prayers too, Kelly. <3

  5. I really loved the art on brave girls site and so came to see more of what you create. After reading your post I wanted to share a tiny bit. I was divorced a number of years ago. I have two sons and their dad left when the younger one was four months. I'm writing to tell you that joy does return. And it's sweeter in many ways because of what you've gone through. You are very strong (well, in my case sometimes weak which I believe is also fine) and doing what you need to. I just thought I'd let you know that from the other side of this life event for you that things get better. You learn things from this that you didn't even wonder about and they are some gems. Take care of yourself.

  6. Kelly,
    Found you through your little birdie on Brave Girls Club. Your art is so beautiful. The eyes of your characters are so soulful. I am so sorry you are grievng right now. I want to point you to a blog I have been keeping up with the last few months.. http://elisabethcorcoran.blogspot.com/ Elizabeth has also been dealing with the loss of a marriage. Her transparency in her pain is comforting to me as a single mom.

  7. Kelly ...
    I found you through Brave Girls Club too:) I remember when I first got a divorce - sadness and grief filled me up so much I had no room left for anything Happy. Your beautiful artwork shows you are letting a little light shine despite your pain, and that is truly beautiful. Know that you are surrounded by women that have been there, done that, and are willing to hold your hand through the Yuck as well as the Sweet.

  8. Remember that grief need time. Do something that can get your mind onto something else. Meet new people, sign up for a course or something. You need to stop thinking so much for creating your own grief so great. It's easy for me to say, but I've been where you are and know that you have to work their way out of such sorrow. You have such great skills that you have a lot to be thankful for. Hugs from me.