Friday, April 27, 2012


In two days, April 29th...it would have been 23 years of marriage...and I am so full of sorrow and disillusionment.  How does life just "change"?  I dont understand...This question has completely thrown me upside down.  I believe in love.  I believe love is the meaning of life.  And even though I am so confused, I still believe this.  
I'm trying so hard to grow.  I know that this kind of pain makes for the most fertile ground.  And I know my tears are watering that ground well-but I'm starting to wonder if that ground is getting flooded???
I dont want to keep feeling sorry for myself, but I feel like I am made of the most thin piece of glass, and the little cracks keep spreading.
I need something to help things heal, but I dont know what it is or where to find it.
I guess I will just keep crying until the tears dry up, because right now thats all I seem to be able to do.

I know how dark this all sounds...I hate to be so dark.  It just helps me to write my feelings down, and sort of let go of them.


  1. Im so sorry it does help to write it down, I wish I could give you the magic potion to make you feel better, it will get better with time,sending hugs nd praying for peace in your heart. Isabel

  2. Big hugs to you Kelly... I think you are still mourning your loss. It takes time so don't be too hard on yourself.

    It's ok to write it out...better to do that than letting it hurt your heart!

  3. One day at a time Kel and one step at a time.
    Talking to anyone, who will listen, is good for you.
    I like your honesty! Just be who you are and slowly little bits will come together. However don't forget to look up and around - it is a wonderful world out there. On 28th put your glad rags on and treat yourself to a day, doing whatever makes you feel okay, no better than OK!
    Hugs to you.
    Your Aussie Friend

  4. You are mourning the loss of something special. It will take time to heal. Cry until you can't cry anymore and then some more. Do try to stay busy and seek therapy. Talking with a counselor will do you some good. Though it is hard to imagine it now, you'll find happiness again when you least expect it. Hang in there.

  5. It is so wonderful that you areble to write down your feelings. So many of us are unable to do this. Just give yourself time to heal and be open for happiness when it suddenly comes along. As I've told my daughter who recently ended a relationship--it's his loss-thus is so with you. "Happiness is a journey, not a destination." We are all here for you.

  6. HUGs to you Kelly ! Give yourself time sweet one, breathe and do what you are good at sweets... smiling and doing your art... one day, one step at a time !! Lov you girl !!

  7. feeling for your sweet heart Kelly and proud of you for letting your vulnerable self show...just be with the feelings..thats all you can do...but also take some time to see how beautiful the world is around you...i know you're good at that xo

  8. Big hugs to you sister - I promise it will get easier :) I miss you! Thinking of you all the time!!!

  9. Oh my goodness, I don't know what happen, but my heart aches for you. Just reading this, I can see you are a very special person and someone should be honored to be a part of your life.

    big hugs